I might have mentioned before (then again, maybe not) that I come from some exceptional stock. A more fitting name could not be found for them than The League of Extraordinary Women. The list includes people who are blood related and some that are not, but they've all helped shaped me along the road of this crazy life.
My mother, The Great G, is always the first on the list...not only did she give birth to me, but she showed me what it is to not just survive the things that cause turmoil in our lives, but how to LIVE in spite of those damned moments. She's been through so much in her life and, yet, still continues to grow, change, learn and love as she lives the best life she can. Her writing sparked the writer in me at a very young age and I have constantly held myself up to the highest standard that I can in my writing...The Great G. The imagery that she can put down in one line can paint a picture so beautifully of what she is trying to express that it has been known to take my breath away. The work ethic that she has always held taught me that if you work hard, do what is right, then you can and will achieve great things...she works in a typically male job and has made a name for herself in more ways than one. The list of positive attributes would be endless if I were to even try to write it all down.
She has two sisters that have paved the way in their own lives in different ways. One, The Melodious MA, overcoming obstacles to finally become the music teacher we all knew she was Gifted to be...always the littlest sister, but never left behind in what she has achieved through the work and determination that only the Women of the League can possess. The other sister, The Marvelous M, working in an area that few women still dare to go, but doing the job and doing it well. She is a perpetual reminder (through action not word) that my emotional self is not a thing to be feared or conquered, but something instead to holds hands with, embrace, and learn to walk down the Path of Recovery knowing that it's okay to feel as long as I keep moving. She has found ways to keep moving through some of the most horrible pain that a person can go through and she's still here...and still amazing!
Each of these women learned at the feet of a great master, their mother, my grandmother. A woman who never begrudged a child curling up in bed with her as she said her rosary each night...even when we chattered on endlessly like the little monkeys we were! She would smile, talk a little with us and keep on with her rosary as we would ramble on. Her contagious laughter, always a gift, could be heard through any room of her small home...a gift she has passed on to her daughters and they have passed on to theirs'...yeah, you might not ever want to be near if/when we all get together! She was a Leader in every sense of the word and our lives are better for having her in it. I am forever proud to share my name with hers.
The ranks of the League are not confined to only blood relatives, as I said. My "Big Sister" taught me about music, acceptance and how to be who you truly are, no matter how hard it is to finally be it. The Queen of TCT's Children's Workshops, one of The Great G's best friends, taught me how to breathe, act, relax, about art and how to make her special syrup out of honey and fruit when the two women were trying to feed all 4 of their combined kiddos on a budget.
I could keep going for days about these women and a few more, but I don't think anyone would be able to read for that long...So I'll close with this: I am honored to know these women and grateful that they have helped to shape the me I am today. Who's in your League?
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Monday, February 27, 2012
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Trial And Error
Simple joys in life are the things that keep us going when times are tough. We can pull the memories of them up and hold them like love letters from the past. The pureness of such a simple emotion as happiness will sustain me in the most trying times...like today.
I've made many mistakes in my life, as have all human beings...to be human is to be fallible, but I can honestly say I have few regrets in my life. After all, when something bad happens you have 3 choices: you can let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. To be defined by it means to place myself as the victim, a role in which I have never been comfortable. Destruction of myself is not an option, I come from powerful women, we fall, we struggle, but we continue...to otherwise is just not an option because there's still just too much to do. That only leaves growing stronger.
Through what I've learned from life, I had hoped that my child would escape some of the hardships that I had grown up with...especially when I had learned that he shared my ADHD, but things don't always go according to our own plans. He makes mistakes, some of them the same that his mother made before him and some entirely his own. That doesn't mean that he's a bad person, it just means he's human...my job is to see that he learns to not let those things define or destroy him and sometimes that means asking for help. Not just from Duckie, but sometimes beyond that to someone outside our immediate family. It may have taken me a long time to get that through my thick head, but I do know it now...and we're working on it.
So today I remind myself of the beautiful joy that my teen can give me and rejoice in the fact that he has learned at least one lesson that I have given him...mistakes happen, be remorseful in the wrong that you've done, but move forward.
I've made many mistakes in my life, as have all human beings...to be human is to be fallible, but I can honestly say I have few regrets in my life. After all, when something bad happens you have 3 choices: you can let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. To be defined by it means to place myself as the victim, a role in which I have never been comfortable. Destruction of myself is not an option, I come from powerful women, we fall, we struggle, but we continue...to otherwise is just not an option because there's still just too much to do. That only leaves growing stronger.Through what I've learned from life, I had hoped that my child would escape some of the hardships that I had grown up with...especially when I had learned that he shared my ADHD, but things don't always go according to our own plans. He makes mistakes, some of them the same that his mother made before him and some entirely his own. That doesn't mean that he's a bad person, it just means he's human...my job is to see that he learns to not let those things define or destroy him and sometimes that means asking for help. Not just from Duckie, but sometimes beyond that to someone outside our immediate family. It may have taken me a long time to get that through my thick head, but I do know it now...and we're working on it.
Through all of this we have become better parents not only for Monster Teen, but also for the Toddler Troll. It is a part of life, a fact that is sometimes troubling to a parent, that the first child is the “trial and error” child. But, if we do our jobs well, they turn out beautiful human beings not only because of us, but sometimes in spite of us.
So today I remind myself of the beautiful joy that my teen can give me and rejoice in the fact that he has learned at least one lesson that I have given him...mistakes happen, be remorseful in the wrong that you've done, but move forward.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
A Worthwhile Day
Being the mom of two boys with a 10 1/2 year age gap can bring new challenges every other second and some days even have me pulling out my hair, ready to just take a nap, by 10:30 AM! Today was not one of those days, though. Today was mostly made of the good things that make life as a stay at home mom worthwhile. One of my best qualities has always been that I can take apart the day and remove the bad things, letting only the good parts stay with me. My mother called it "dancing through life" once...I actually love looking at it that way. It's not always easy, and I don't get it right all the time, but today I did.
Monster Teen refused to get up today when I went in to let him know it was noon already. He is, unfortunately, his mother's son with that; he absolutely LOVES his sleep. I've been known to be able to sleep until 2 pm after going to bed at 11 when I was his age (one of the perks to having a single mom who worked during the day was sleeping to all hours of the day). I left him alone because it's really not that serious how late he sleeps and Toddler Troll and I were having a great day together.
Something that I have noticed about the age gap is that Monster Teen is getting to that age where he doesn't like to snuggle anymore. I still get hugs, but NOT in public. Toddler Troll is still in his snuggly love-bug phase of life, so I don't miss it quite as much. (A snuggle may be a snuggle, but one child never replaces another...so I still miss my snuggle time with Monster Teen) Toddler Troll and I snuggle-bugged, tickled, played games and finished cleaning his exceptionally messy room together. Then came his lunch and quiet time after that.
I was surprised that at the end of quiet time Toddler Troll helped pick up his room with no argument...he was actually laughing and happy until I asked him to pick up his "men" (little knights from his castle set that Grandragon gave him). I let him know that it was okay to keep them out if he was still playing with them and we had instant smiles again. Some time later all heck broke loose because Monster Teen decided to "grace" us with his presence.
After ignoring my request for the trash cans to be brought back to the house from the curb and the recycling to be taken to the outside bin, I gave him an hour to get it taken care of and then I turned off the router so he could no longer play Xbox Live. Yep, I'm that kind of mom. Action (or even inaction) has a consequence and one of the things that I think is a large problem in society is that too many children are not given this lesson. He was not at all happy and began to rain his wrath down upon his brother and me to prove just how angry he was. This rewarded him with a talk from me...there was a little more before this, but the tail end was the important part (to me).
"You do know that if you would do what I asked, when I asked, you would have unlimited amounts of free time after, right?"
"You know I'm angry, right?"
"I'm not too thrilled with you right now either, kid, but why don't we both stop the negativity and get some happy in here."
I then left his room, letting him soak in what I had told him. After about 5 minutes, he came out, looked at me and said, "You know you're weird, Mom, but somehow it works for you. I love you!" I was then gifted with the ultimate teenage reward, a hug and we continued our day with much better attitudes towards one another. Everything that I asked for was done and he played nicely with his brother for a while, too.
We had many little moments during the evening that I enjoyed...there were lots of moments of hilarity today, we all worked well together even when we had an upset to get over and now I'm listening to Duckie and Monster Teen watching one of their ghost shows together after Toddler Troll went straight to bed. Yes, I'm a lucky woman and I'm grateful for the reminders to enjoy the little things in life that I was given today.
Something that I have noticed about the age gap is that Monster Teen is getting to that age where he doesn't like to snuggle anymore. I still get hugs, but NOT in public. Toddler Troll is still in his snuggly love-bug phase of life, so I don't miss it quite as much. (A snuggle may be a snuggle, but one child never replaces another...so I still miss my snuggle time with Monster Teen) Toddler Troll and I snuggle-bugged, tickled, played games and finished cleaning his exceptionally messy room together. Then came his lunch and quiet time after that.
I was surprised that at the end of quiet time Toddler Troll helped pick up his room with no argument...he was actually laughing and happy until I asked him to pick up his "men" (little knights from his castle set that Grandragon gave him). I let him know that it was okay to keep them out if he was still playing with them and we had instant smiles again. Some time later all heck broke loose because Monster Teen decided to "grace" us with his presence.
After ignoring my request for the trash cans to be brought back to the house from the curb and the recycling to be taken to the outside bin, I gave him an hour to get it taken care of and then I turned off the router so he could no longer play Xbox Live. Yep, I'm that kind of mom. Action (or even inaction) has a consequence and one of the things that I think is a large problem in society is that too many children are not given this lesson. He was not at all happy and began to rain his wrath down upon his brother and me to prove just how angry he was. This rewarded him with a talk from me...there was a little more before this, but the tail end was the important part (to me).
"You do know that if you would do what I asked, when I asked, you would have unlimited amounts of free time after, right?"
"You know I'm angry, right?"
"I'm not too thrilled with you right now either, kid, but why don't we both stop the negativity and get some happy in here."
I then left his room, letting him soak in what I had told him. After about 5 minutes, he came out, looked at me and said, "You know you're weird, Mom, but somehow it works for you. I love you!" I was then gifted with the ultimate teenage reward, a hug and we continued our day with much better attitudes towards one another. Everything that I asked for was done and he played nicely with his brother for a while, too.
We had many little moments during the evening that I enjoyed...there were lots of moments of hilarity today, we all worked well together even when we had an upset to get over and now I'm listening to Duckie and Monster Teen watching one of their ghost shows together after Toddler Troll went straight to bed. Yes, I'm a lucky woman and I'm grateful for the reminders to enjoy the little things in life that I was given today.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Love And The Unexpected
The week of my birthday always seems to bring an amazing mix of love and the unexpected in my life. This week was definitely no different.
As the school year came to a close on my birthday, Troll Toddler ran me ragged with our exploits in the outdoors around the house, amazing wishes for greatness on my birthday (and for a couple of days before and after it), and, as it often does, coming to a close with Father's Day Weekend.
As I said in yesterday's post, my Saturday was beyond measure and left me ready for more family fun today with a cookout at the in-laws. We started the day at our church with one of the most amazing sermons I have ever heard on the Trinity. The Reverend that we have been blessed with in our lives constantly surprises me with the fact that she always has this power to either say something I needed to hear, or something that makes me think. Today was a little of both.
On to the store to pick out our eats for the cookout and get a travel corn-hole board for the kids to play with at the cookout. We had seen a really great smaller version of the game at the beach and I had found out that it was sold at one of the most prolific stores on the planet...we definitely needed something for those crazy kids to stay away from our boards when we are trying to play, so it was the perfect find! For those of you who don't know what corn-hole is, it's kind of a combination of a beanbag toss and horseshoes. I can't stand horseshoes, but no matter how badly I do at corn-hole, I ALWAYS have fun. The rain came in and kept us from playing today, but the kids had a ton of fun chasing each other and getting absolutely FILTHY after it had cleared out. Top that off with a birthday party for my favorite 2 year old nephew and you have a recipe for an phenomenal afternoon!
Now for the touch of unexpected...I came home to a message from my former step-mother. I've kept in contact with her through the years, though very sporadically, and we've been blessed with social networking allowing us glimpses into the other's life, even when we didn't have the time to really talk. I don't know what I expected when I started putting my thoughts out for the world to see...I guess I really didn't give it much thought at all, but receiving her message today helped me in ways that I never would have imagined.
The words that I read, repeatedly, washed over me, giving me warmth and love in the most unforeseen ways. The peace that I have found when dealing with my biological father was reinforced through her insights on him and kind praise of the woman I am. To see her views put out there and know what she has come to believe through her own thoughtful reasoning, to hear it from a place of healing and light...to have that loving gift from her...it adds to the blessings all around me and makes for an sensational birthday week.
As the school year came to a close on my birthday, Troll Toddler ran me ragged with our exploits in the outdoors around the house, amazing wishes for greatness on my birthday (and for a couple of days before and after it), and, as it often does, coming to a close with Father's Day Weekend.
As I said in yesterday's post, my Saturday was beyond measure and left me ready for more family fun today with a cookout at the in-laws. We started the day at our church with one of the most amazing sermons I have ever heard on the Trinity. The Reverend that we have been blessed with in our lives constantly surprises me with the fact that she always has this power to either say something I needed to hear, or something that makes me think. Today was a little of both.
On to the store to pick out our eats for the cookout and get a travel corn-hole board for the kids to play with at the cookout. We had seen a really great smaller version of the game at the beach and I had found out that it was sold at one of the most prolific stores on the planet...we definitely needed something for those crazy kids to stay away from our boards when we are trying to play, so it was the perfect find! For those of you who don't know what corn-hole is, it's kind of a combination of a beanbag toss and horseshoes. I can't stand horseshoes, but no matter how badly I do at corn-hole, I ALWAYS have fun. The rain came in and kept us from playing today, but the kids had a ton of fun chasing each other and getting absolutely FILTHY after it had cleared out. Top that off with a birthday party for my favorite 2 year old nephew and you have a recipe for an phenomenal afternoon!
Now for the touch of unexpected...I came home to a message from my former step-mother. I've kept in contact with her through the years, though very sporadically, and we've been blessed with social networking allowing us glimpses into the other's life, even when we didn't have the time to really talk. I don't know what I expected when I started putting my thoughts out for the world to see...I guess I really didn't give it much thought at all, but receiving her message today helped me in ways that I never would have imagined.
The words that I read, repeatedly, washed over me, giving me warmth and love in the most unforeseen ways. The peace that I have found when dealing with my biological father was reinforced through her insights on him and kind praise of the woman I am. To see her views put out there and know what she has come to believe through her own thoughtful reasoning, to hear it from a place of healing and light...to have that loving gift from her...it adds to the blessings all around me and makes for an sensational birthday week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)