Trial And Error

Simple joys in life are the things that keep us going when times are tough. We can pull the memories of them up and hold them like love letters from the past. The pureness of such a simple emotion as happiness will sustain me in the most trying times...like today.

I've made many mistakes in my life, as have all human beings...to be human is to be fallible, but I can honestly say I have few regrets in my life. After all, when something bad happens you have 3 choices: you can let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. To be defined by it means to place myself as the victim, a role in which I have never been comfortable. Destruction of myself is not an option, I come from powerful women, we fall, we struggle, but we continue...to otherwise is just not an option because there's still just too much to do. That only leaves growing stronger.

Through what I've learned from life, I had hoped that my child would escape some of the hardships that I had grown up with...especially when I had learned that he shared my ADHD, but things don't always go according to our own plans. He makes mistakes, some of them the same that his mother made before him and some entirely his own. That doesn't mean that he's a bad person, it just means he's human...my job is to see that he learns to not let those things define or destroy him and sometimes that means asking for help. Not just from Duckie, but sometimes beyond that to someone outside our immediate family. It may have taken me a long time to get that through my thick head, but I do know it now...and we're working on it.

Through all of this we have become better parents not only for Monster Teen, but also for the Toddler Troll. It is a part of life, a fact that is sometimes troubling to a parent, that the first child is the “trial and error” child. But, if we do our jobs well, they turn out beautiful human beings not only because of us, but sometimes in spite of us.

So today I remind myself of the beautiful joy that my teen can give me and rejoice in the fact that he has learned at least one lesson that I have given him...mistakes happen, be remorseful in the wrong that you've done, but move forward.