Assumptions Are A Dangerous Habit

I'm a little ticked off today because of something that someone posted on a social networking site.  It's not that I think she really meant to jump to assumptions and belittle people; she's not the type to be offensive on purpose, but she hadn't seen the changes for herself and still blasted people for not liking something that they have every right not to like. It may be a free service, but we don't have to like what they've done to it...we don't have to whine either, but that's another subject for another day. It made me think about other assumptions in life that we make every day and wonder how many of us end up hurting the feelings of someone we love, like, respect because we failed to think it through or look into the matter ourselves.

There is a fabulous acronym in Al-Anon called “T.H.I.N.K.”, that I have been trying to use more and more. It stopped me today from blasting the person out of the water. I'm mean and really good at using my words to cut people down to size when I'm mad, but what would that have accomplished? A lot of hurt feelings and a GIANT step backward in a relationship with someone that I need to keep healthy. So I chose, instead, to take the time to stop and T.H.I.N.K.:  Am I being Thoughtful? Yes, in the respect that I at least took a moment before responding. Honest? Oh, it would've been honest. Intelligent? Most definitely...I am my mother's daughter after all. Necessary? Well, gee...no, probably not. Kind? Not in the least bit! Hmmmm...then it's probably a good idea to get that darned edit button working QUICK! There really are so many things in this world that are just better left unsaid because they don't fall under this simple guideline.

That's the dangerous thing about assumptions, they not only don't follow under that guideline, but they can lead to other people making assumptions which can cause a HUGE snowball effect. Politics and religion are two of the best examples of how that can happen and, for that reason, I don't discuss them with very many people. My views are my own and I respect the people around me enough to know that they have every right to their opinions. Now there are times when I may think that they are truly being mislead about a situation, so I will speak up...But again, am I being intelligent about it? Do I really have all the facts about the situation so that I truly know what I'm talking about? Not just what Cousin Billy said...did I look up the source of the issue and read it for myself? If I haven't, then I don't believe I have any right to speak on the subject. When I regurgitate the information that has been regurgitated to me, I am making assumptions not based on facts and I have definitely not taken the time to T.H.I.N.K.

So today I chose to write out my frustrations in a more productive way...I may not always succeed in T.H.I.N.K.ing before I act, but that's the great thing about life (as another Al-Anon saying goes) it's about PROGRESS not perfection. Because life is not perfect and I'm sure glad it isn't...how boring would THAT be?!